Web Development Forum

Ever been stranded in a foreign country surrounded by screaming youths demanding money? If you answered yes, then you know what it's like to be confronted by a typical web integration person with their special language, poor relationship skills and desire to unload you of your money.

To help you steer through the minefield of potentially costly miscommunications that characterize 'Web Integrator Speak' here's a quick glossary of terms and statements:

What your friendly web integrator really means when he/she says:

"Your site really needs a Flash Intro"

Translation: 'I'm dying to play with some cool multimedia software and would like you to pay for me to learn the software'

"We'll put a firm timeline in place"

Translation: In two weeks we'll generate a lengthy list of impressive milestones etched for posterity in M/S Project. We'll then ignore every element of the timeline and spend most of our time finding excuses why you the client are responsible for the overhang

"You know your target audiences"

Translation: 'We have no intention of learning who those people are. And if they don't live in a big city, wear hip clothes and go to impressive sounding networking events they're beneath our consideration anyway'

"Bandwidth is not an issue anymore"

Translation: 'If any of your site visitors have the audacity to use anything less than a T3 they are beyond our contempt'

"Can we meet to go over the project"

Translation: 'We need to hit you up for money. Geez, how were we to know that the six level rollover wouldn't work with Netscape 4.05?'